are you still at the devil's house?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
