8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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