Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
