Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
