Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
