I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
