They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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