if i can run in heels then i can drive
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
