I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Your penis caused this!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
