Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
