why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
