oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I want you more than these girls want KFC
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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