I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i dont even know how to be here
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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