We're like a lot better than the average bears
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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