Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
