i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
