Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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