of course. lets lasso hookers.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
This toilet bowl is my home.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
