How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We talked him into tasing himself.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Randomize
