She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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