im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
