My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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