As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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