ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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