You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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