Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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