New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
