I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
