where am i from again
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think your dad took our porno
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
