remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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