love makes seman taste better
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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