also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
