I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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