I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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