Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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