4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
