There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
