these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
