I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
