Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
pray to the hookup gods
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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