Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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