3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
