Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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