why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
