We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
