When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
