I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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