Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
