Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
