I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
