Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
