Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
