haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
